Reaching mid life crisis age
So as much as I hate to admit it, I am now at the age where the stereotypical “mid-life crisis” becomes a threat. That’s right, I’m closer to becoming an “oldie” than I am to being able to stay in touch with the “cool kids”. Not that I see myself that way. I actually think I’ll always be mentally stuck in my early 30s. Well maybe not, but when you realise you have just bought your 6th pair of exactly the same army green cargo shorts in as many years, it becomes quite apparent you have “found your groove”. 😂
Which is actually quite liberating to be honest. No need to worry about whether you are looking ok. No need to stress about what to wear each day. I have basically reached that point in life where I can emphatically say “fuck you” to any age based detractors.
There is, however, the darker side to this moon (another age based reference).
“Is this it?”
Yes my furry friends, the mid life crisis that we have all heard so much about as we grow up is nothing more than an internal dialogue, questioning everything we dreamed we would become or acheive in our finite time on this planet. And for the vast majority of us, this is a confronting and displeasing moment in our lives.
All of a sudden there are no more “when I grow up” possibilities. There is a realisation that this is quite possibly the pinnacle of your life. And for many of us mere mortals, it is not so much a pinnacle as it is a crumbling cliff face with a sheer drop to one side and an impassable precipice to the other.
And the biggest mistake alot of people make is assuming that it is someone else’s fault that they are not bathing in yaks milk while being fed grapes and fanned with palm branches.
Gone are the days, however, of the stereotypical man ditching their entire lives for a red Ferrari and a 23 yr old gold digger. No no, today’s modern man (and woman) instead tries to flip the bird to mid life by becoming obsessed with fitness, or going on a whacked out health kick that consists of kale and purified air smoothies.
I would love to see some stats on the growth in 45+ triathlon competitors in recent years, or the percentage of lycra-clad cyclists that are over the age of 40 that haunt our roads on a Saturday morning enroute to their favourite latte spot that provides bike racks.
But hey, each to their own I guess, and I suppose that lycra stretched over a beer gut is slightly more palatable than a smoothed out toupee in a nightclub.
But these things are simple attempts at personal self improvement, trying to return to the glory days of health and vigour. Which is commendable in nearly every way, bar one in my opinion.
So many people, both men and women, seem to find it so easy to give up on their relationships, and quite often their family too, as if these elements of life are holding them back from the utopian existence they feel they deserve.
I have witnessed numerous friends break away from previously adored partners, for no apparent reason other than they “aren’t happy”.
Now I can understand and appreciate this, and I’m not advocating for anyone to stay in a situation that is making them miserable, but what I find ridiculously hard to swallow is when zero effort is made to remedy the situation before people throw their hands in the air and decide “fuck it, I’m done”.
That’s just fucking lazy. And a total slap in the face to those that haven’t had the chance to experience a loving relationship and family.
The opportunity for a happy life and loving partnership is not something that grows on trees I’m afraid, and take it from someone that did have a superb relationship;
It takes work. It takes compromise. It takes commitment.
I have watched loving couples turn vicious and vengeful. I have seen kids used as pawns in ugly battles over finances and ownership. I have listened to disturbing schemes to undermine and entrap. And it makes me absolutely ropeable to know that in each case, there was not even the slightest attempt to fix any problems first.
I would do anything to have back what I’ve lost. Anything.. And believe me, when you have lost something so right, it makes you both angry and deeply saddened to watch others throw away the possibility of happiness so easily without even trying.
So for all of you who may be questioning your position in life at this point in time, I strongly urge you to try and fix things before you throw them away in search of something better. If it was once good, it can be again. And don’t be so conceited to think that you too can’t lose everything. Don’t be complacent in your life. Don’t take anything for granted.
By all means go ahead and cycle your fat lycra clad arse down to the closest hipster cafe for a sugar free almond milk golden chai, but don’t make the mistake assuming that your unhappiness is someone else’s fault.
And for fuck’s sake, do not use your children for gain, push them away or play them off against someone. They need you to be their parent.
We all grow older. We all have dreams of greener grass. Life isn’t always going to be unicorns and bloody rainbows, but before you throw your hands up in defeat, have another crack.
Rather than searching for a better deal in life, try imagining what life would be like without everything you have right now. Do you really want to lose all of that?
Happy mid-life.
✌