Maybe some critical readers would assume that a blog by a Dad, predominantly for Dads, would be 100% blokey and full of masculine shares, posts and rhetoric. Possibly even full of boob pics and alcohol fuelled conquest stories. So why haven’t I catered to this assumption with Just A Dad?
Well one of the reasons I started this blog was due to the proliferation of female targeted blogs of the same nature. (Think mammamia etc.) I used to frequently get all pissed off reading some articles from these publications, as there seemed to be an accepted theme of anti-male / useless father / super-Mumma-power edge to them.
And that’s just not fair.
OK, so there are always going to be more than an acceptable number of deadbeat father’s out there. But I can assure you, there are plenty of deadbeat mums purporting to be stellar pillars of society too.
What shits me to tears is that this style of commentary appears to be acceptable when written in favour of women. Can you imagine the uproar if a man wrote an article about how hard he had it because of the failings of his wife or mother to his children? Probably not, because no man would dare write such blasphemous content from fear of persecution alone. Even if it were true..
Now before anyone gets all fucking righteous and indignant, I am merely raising a reality. Agree or disagree, it doesn’t matter. And it is not the point of this article anyway.
I have the unfortunate, or fortunate, experience of walking plenty of miles in both a mother’s and a father’s shoes. And let me tell you, it doesn’t matter which role I am playing at the time, the issues I face or the problems I have to solve, are exactly the same. The kids are the same. My parenting requires the same approach.
Both Mums and Dads have to deal with the same journey when it comes to their children. Both Mums and Dads have to face the same fears, anxieties and concerns. We all have to change nappies, do the shopping, care for our kids (we DO NOT do Daddy day care), vacuum the house and wash our clothes.
So why draw comparisons at all? To whose benefit is chastising and pointing out misgivings of others? In particular those of a child’s parent?
I want Just A Dad, and you, my adored followers, to be the new standard by which others can aspire to.
Let’s be pro-people. Pro-parents. Pro-each other. Let’s not degrade the immense responsibility that is being a parent, indeed an adult, by drawing gender based comparisons. We are not in primary school anymore and it serves no one to blame, defame, accuse or mock others.
Let’s lead by example and teach the next generation that there should be no fight for equality, that it should simply be that we are all equal. That when we all dive head first down the rabbit hole that is parenting, without an instruction book, we do it with the support, advice and love of each other.
So this is why I am careful not to bemoan others based on gender or otherwise, particularly parents, because as we all know, monkey see, monkey do. I don’t know about you, but I hope my kids aren’t sexist or bigoted in any way, and one day they may just read this blog and I want them to see that their Dad was a reasonably fair and non judgemental bloke.
Ok. Enough soap-boxing. The message is simple:
Just don’t be a fucking twat at the expense of others to make yourself seem superior. Because you’re not.