So I had a emotionality mixed couple of days this weekend. I spent Saturday doing that most dreaded of activities for most blokes: clothes shopping for the kids.
Kill. Me. Now.
But alas, as it turns out, the gods were smiling that day. Perhaps Renee took pity on me and sent down some extra help, I can’t be sure, but all I know is that it was, well, pretty seamless. (in hindsight)
Everything purchased, only a handful of fights, under half an hour looking for Albi in various shops, Grace still happy to be seen with us, lunch eaten and quietly sitting waiting for a movie to start, all in under an hour and a half.
That’s bloody good for us. #winning
To cap off this remarkable trip, while driving home in stormy weather, we drove through no less than 3 rainbows (which we always say is mummy’s handiwork), all agreed on (an easy) dinner and sang and laughed all the way. I was so pumped I actually bought a tatts ticket I was feeling so lucky.
Happy days!
Then Sunday happened. The torrential rain continued. Cabin fever began to set in, coinciding with late onset sugar crashing from the pigout at the movies on Saturday. The kids started pushing every button they could. Fights broke out. Tempers were frayed. Wild, unfulfillable threats were made.
I made it to 5pm before I gave in to the hypnotic pull of the unopened bottle of Shiraz staring down at me from the kitchen bench.
I shut the lounge door, subconsciously hoping they’d work things out or just pass out, and sat down at the computer with my glass (3rd) of wine to find some music to soothe the savage beast. But what I found instead were all our old videos.
gulp
Fast forward an hour and both kids, now relatively peaceful, are sitting on my lap as we watch one after another of our home videos. Mostly of Grace as a baby (jesus we filmed bloody everything – first child syndrome) but of course Renee, both in person and vocally, featured heavily.
And I sat there sobbing like a baby.
Which is ok, I know that. I’m more than happy for my kids to see that I am vulnerable, that I’m human and things can make me sad. (not just grumpy) They need to know that it’s ok to show your feelings. That bottling things up never helps.
We spoke of things and of times when we were all together. Of shared experience, of love and laughter, of happiness. And it stayed that way for the rest of the night.
Here or not, Renee was still being a great Mum and wife. Bringing us together. Bringing happiness back to our little family.
So the weekend ended as it began. With hope, peace and anticipation of good things to come.
But as the saying goes: tomorrow is another day.
And I’ll just deal with that when I wake up 🙂