Home Grief A letter to you on your birthday

A letter to you on your birthday

by admin

appy birthday my love. I hope you are having a party to end all parties wherever you may be. We did what we could down here. We made a cake, we dined out and toasted to you. We even drank from champagne glasses just as you would have done. We brought beautiful flowers and lit candles in your honour. We spoke of happy times and fond memories, we sang your favourite songs at the top of our lungs. We smiled. We laughed. We loved.

But it’s just not the same. We know that but we try anyway. What choice do we have.

Right now I find myself lying in bed with a little girl needing comfort and assurance, as mother nature rends the sky with her fury and dumps her tears in thunderous torrents on our roof.

And I sob for her. My heart aches for this little girl who is bereft of the soothing embrace of a mother’s arms. My tears are also for you not having the privilege to hold your baby girl and make everything feel safe. Our little boy is sleeping soundly in his bed but he will come soon too and I will do the same.

I cannot help but cry on days like this anyway. I do apologise but I just do. And I don’t ever want to not cry when we are celebrating a day that reminds us of our little family.

And yes, my tears are selfish too. I am doing my best but I just bloody miss you. I wish this never happened. It’s not fair.

Don’t worry. Love, affection and care abound here my angel, but on days like this it is hollow and fragile. We know you watch over us. We feel your presence. We see your signs. But we are physical beings and we miss yours. I promise I will do my best to be as much you as I can.

So wherever you are sweetheart, I hope you are smiling and happy. We believe you are and that knowledge brings us some peace.

Happy 42nd birthday my Wanabe.
We love you.
xoxoxo

 

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44 comments

Louise Roots Adamthwaite November 6, 2017 - 11:40 am

❤️

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Danella Haseldine November 6, 2017 - 11:40 am

beautiful words

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Brett Williamson November 6, 2017 - 11:43 am

You’re a champ mate , just beautiful

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Melanie Steere November 6, 2017 - 11:43 am
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Jojo Thomas November 6, 2017 - 11:44 am

Happy birthday ! So glad you guys celebrated xxx

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Liss Hayes November 6, 2017 - 11:44 am

A beautiful tribute Chris

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Naomi Weir November 6, 2017 - 11:45 am

Truly Beautiful Chris. Much Love & Strength coming your way ❤️

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Shelleigh Hine November 6, 2017 - 11:45 am

❤️

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Erin Ross November 6, 2017 - 11:47 am

Sending you love and a whole lotta strength …. from …. just a mum

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Annette Fyfe November 6, 2017 - 11:48 am

Happy Birthday Renee. Cheers to you.

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Cherie Hannan November 6, 2017 - 11:54 am

Love and hugs to you all tonight.

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Sim Dunstan November 6, 2017 - 11:57 am

So precious

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Michael Verwey November 6, 2017 - 11:59 am

lovely words. Hits home.

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Leanne Cusinato November 6, 2017 - 12:02 pm

Love how u remembered her. Beautiful. Love your words. Again.., you write so well. Thinking of u on this tough day.

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Lisa Valerie Woods November 6, 2017 - 12:03 pm

This brought tears to my eyes, ache to my heart and I relate so much. I recently lost my mum and I have a 2yr old that feels a lot like your daughter and is sleeping with me for comfort. My heart aches for them, lost their mum so young! Nothing selfish about your tears! You’re doing a great job I’m sure! X

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Emmeline Devlin November 6, 2017 - 12:05 pm

You’re doing a great job mart xx

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Peta Melanie November 6, 2017 - 12:06 pm

.:.Like you said it just ain’t fair.:. That your beautiful kids don’t get to hug their Mumma on her birthday and you are parenting alone without your soul mate.:. Thank you for sharing Your beautiful letter and day of honour to your Renee.:. lovely picture of the toast to celebrate her life and love::.❤️cheers to that! Yes to Lots of hugs through this challenging time.:.

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Jodie Rayner November 6, 2017 - 12:10 pm

I can literally feel pain in my chest as I read this.. although your little girl aches for her Mumma, she is the luckiest girl in the world to have a father that is so in tune with his feelings and will show her love and guidance for all of her life ❤️ same goes for your precious boy. In turn, I’m certain they give you strength in ways you see and ways that may go unnoticed. Your beautiful wife must be so proud of you x

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Nicole Barakat November 6, 2017 - 12:12 pm

Beautiful words – I feel your pain

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Thile Tran November 6, 2017 - 12:12 pm

Thats so beautiful…. Happy birthday to my beautiful angel Renee Martin❤❤

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Ben MacLean November 6, 2017 - 12:14 pm

Sending my love to you and your children tonight mate.

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Julz Viant November 6, 2017 - 12:18 pm

This made me cry… You’re a great man and a brilliant dad!

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Rhonda Daly November 6, 2017 - 12:20 pm

This is so sad. How dare she have left this earth when it wasn’t her fault. How dare this has even happened You were a great family and happy and life is just not fair. So much scum on this earth and life took a wonderful woman and mother You are doing great with those children , however know one can understand your loss unless they are in your shoes❤️ Please be strong and i pray you have happiness one day as i think that is what your wife will want

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Emmy Wah-Wah November 6, 2017 - 12:33 pm

Beautiful letter to a beautiful woman Chris Martin… xxx

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Lea Cullen Lynes November 6, 2017 - 12:40 pm

What lucky kids they are to have such a wonderful Daddy and also a beautiful mummy watching over you all

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Nivek Dunne November 6, 2017 - 12:40 pm

Beautiful words Marty, big cuddles toddy xx

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Michelle Zieba November 6, 2017 - 12:41 pm

This is beautiful and made me well up. Life is hard and cruel at times. None of you 4 deserved this. But you are everything to the kids and doing a great job. Don’t doubt that. I think Renee is bursting with such love and pride at the 3 of you making it work. Days like this are hard. You deserve to be selfish, though I don’t believe you are. Let the tears flow, it can be therapeutic.
I think its a beautiful idea doing all these special things with the kids in honour of their mum. You are brave and selfless. I sincerely hope you can find that happiness again one day xo.

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Sarah Kennedy November 6, 2017 - 2:10 pm

Your neices, Revere and I danced around an enormous bonfire under the full moon to celebrate Beltane and your day of birth. We cheered and stomped to celebrate life and I felt your presence, but I cried for your loss and the absence of your smile and amazingly soft kisses. How I long to share another day or moment with you. Happy Birthday my love xxx

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Just A Dad November 6, 2017 - 8:55 pm

Love you, Revs and my girls Sare. Can’t wait to give you all bug hugs xxx

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Kylie O'Donoghue November 6, 2017 - 4:50 pm

Just beautiful She would be so proud of you all.

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Tony Brimelow November 6, 2017 - 6:45 pm

Dead set legend..

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Sally Schouten November 6, 2017 - 7:26 pm

Beautiful words chris, thinking of you guy! Your doing a great job with those little Rugrats!!

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Andrea Angel Frankish November 6, 2017 - 8:11 pm

Beautiful. Heart hugs to you.❤️

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Tranika Michel November 6, 2017 - 8:33 pm
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Paul Burfitt November 6, 2017 - 8:39 pm

Beautiful.

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Melinda Small November 6, 2017 - 8:42 pm

Beautiful ❤️

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Simon Gray November 6, 2017 - 9:34 pm

Oh mate….you’ve gone and made me cry. That was the best.

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Tam Barr November 6, 2017 - 9:40 pm

Beautiful! Just beautiful x

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Jo Helenius November 6, 2017 - 9:46 pm

Life is so cruel sometimes and it’s always the good people who are affected.
Bless your lil family, can’t imagine that pain.

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Amy Te Paa November 6, 2017 - 9:59 pm

Love to you guys. Xx

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Laurae Bailey November 7, 2017 - 12:15 am

Beautiful

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Sally Lythgo November 7, 2017 - 11:21 am

Ohh Chris. Sending lots of love to you and your beautiful kids ❤❤❤

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Kylie Marie Feldman November 7, 2017 - 9:28 pm

Beautiful

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Tori Martin November 9, 2017 - 11:33 am

you are amazing!!! ‍‍

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