I’m sitting here on a Wednesday night waiting for Grace’s six-a-side soccer to be over and done with. It’s just started raining, I don’t know where Albi is (and frankly don’t care), I haven’t, and won’t even bother watching the games and am thinking of doing my best at avoiding conversation with anyone in general. I stopped at the bottle-o on the way here in the hope I’d find something to alter my mood. It did, but not enough. I’m over it. I can’t be fucked. Everything is pissing me off.
It’s one of those days.
I’m sick of being a (the) parent, the cook, the cleaner, the taxi driver, the good cop and the bad cop. I’m sick of laundry, vaccuming and bloody school lunches that never get eaten. The kids are shitting me to tears with every word and action. They don’t listen, don’t help and don’t seem to give a shit about me or each other. Even the dog seems to have a fuck-you attitude towards me at the moment.
Christmas is coming, as is the end of school, and I am not looking forward to either. More stress, more organising, more effort, more money to spend, more headaches and far less, if any, time for me (if that’s possible). The only thing that is good about school holidays and Christmas is the occasional sleep in, no schedule and seeing the kids joy at accruing yet more material possessions on Christmas morning.
I’m pissed off that I’ve been left to do this on my own. I’m angry that this is how it turned out. This is not what I signed up for. If I had have known that it would be this hard emotionally and mentally, I would never have bought into it in the first place.
Yes I know that this feeling will pass. I am not looking for pity, advice, or even a “you got this”. I promised to share the shit as well as the good and this is, well, some of the shit that is solo parenting.
I know this is normal in any family. I know that this is just a part of the joy that is parenting. But I also know that not enough people, especially us blokes, talk about this fucked up side to raising children. Well I will 🙂
Not that we’d change it for all the fish in the sea, but let’s be seriously honest here – kids, indeed life, is 95% fucking hard work and 5% bliss. It’s pure luck, I believe, that the 5% good stuff is like that third glass of wine – somehow, miraculously, the other 95% seems not as bad as you remember at the time.
So as I move rapidly through my 3rd glass of quite a nice cab/merlot cleanskin I picked up on the way home, I hope you all have a little giggle at this oh-so-familiar situation. It is not my intention to invoke sorrow or pity, but merely to highlight the war-like struggle I know we all deal with on a worryingly regular basis.
Ha! Just proof read this. Isn’t it amazing how quickly things can go from “I’ll murder the next person that looks at me sideways” to “ah well, tomorrow’s another day”
Pffft… Glug, glug.
✌️
123 comments
Drink up buddy. Tomorrow’s another day and all that Bullshit….love you..xx
I hear you!
cheers
I hear ya.
YAS!!!
amen! And here’s to tomorrow
Yep I’m onto my third glass too!!
#jinx
Sounds so familiar. It is really tough and sometimes it just feels too much. I totally get it.
Right there with you today. x
We all know why you post your stories, and I for one love reading them. And while you don’t want advice, sympathy, validation…whatever, I will say. I am sitting here listening to my dog bark at a possum that has decided to take up residence in my roof. My boy cat is attempting to have inappropriate relations with his sister, and my scotch is hot because my fridge is broken. That’s about as exciting as my life gets! I’m no judge, and it’s possibly not a competition, but…IMO, I win the biggest loser contest.
Holy shit Leanne – hot scotch?? You win the shit day award 🤣
Right!!
Oh, and unless you’re in tassie, shame on your cats 😂😂
Oi! You have Tasmanian readers! 😂 #mycatsarenotthatwayinclined
Exception noted Melinda Small xx
Must be something in the air by the looks of it… Bless you all. And bless the humble grape
Its hard i know. However even a married mother deals with this everyday. I am single too now, however i sit here some nights crying how i can pay bills and just wish i had someone to vent to. My ex i was married to for 18 years, however i had to deal with it all and he would come home and say but i worked all day! I worked too but because i was the mum i dealt with all this why he went sailing
As I mentioned in the article Rhonda, I am not crying poor me, merely highlighting that it is normal and ok to talk about it, especially for guys as we seem to be a little reserved in our ability to share.
Must be something in the air cause I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all that shit looming too
I just want to get to do nothing day….when the hell is that
Funny how as a 20 something we suffered fomo but now all we want is 5min to ourselves 😂
True 😀
I had a job plus did it all. I still do .
#legend
Just A Dad yeah but hope you think that im not implying that you arent doing a great job . God im no perfect parent these days . Its hard. Its like ground hog day and i only have 1 left at home . I say what do you want for tea? ohh i dont know. Then after many suggestions its like ohh dont want any. So then im like we are having this and if you dont eat not my problem
Teens are like pulling teeth . Great kids but kids are like that any age
Haha…I feel you mate.
My Boys, by a quirk of fate, ended up batting together at Cricket on weekend.
One was run out by the other and before you knew it, they were biffing in the middle of the pitch.
I was judged by all the Parents watching as some sort of second-rate socially inept Father whom encourages physical violence over all else…amongst the nasty comments (some valid) I felt like disowning my Boys and then thought to myself, they have been through so much crap and confusion, tumbling around isn’t so bad, esp considering they latterly copped their ‘2 game suspension’ with grace, apologised to their coach and team and most importantly to me and each other….
Peace!
G
Well done mate – the last thing you need is judgement. So many glass ceilings out there…
It doesnt make it any easier for you as people may say ohh suck it up as now you know what women go through! However its hard for you as you have lost the love of your life and the life you dreamed of in your mind of how it was going to be. Be strong for those kids as even though they might seem fine they are hurting too. Maybe get some counselling. I know you might say ohh im a man but just give it a try
I hear you and I’m just a mum
No such thing as “just a mum”
Just A Dad only you would get that 😘
I’ve tried 🤣
Just A Dad cheers 🥂
Know one knows what you are going through . I wish my ex was the love of my life, however i was young and just married a mate because i thought i deserved less. I pray one day i will have a soul mate. Every one has a story and you are lucky you did have that at one time. But not for me or anyone to say how you cope. Life is a journey and i send wishes to you as it will get better one day. If kids are naughty discipline them as you and your wife would always do. Then once they calm down just talk and be honest and say dad misses mum as much as you miss her, however if mum was here do you think that she would say your behaviour is ok? Then say i love you with all my heart and lets be a team and show mum in heaven that we can do this and make her see ❤️
What a beautiful message! X
I hope one day once everything in your heart is settled you find someone again .
I do just that Rhonda – every decision and action is based on what “we” would do. Don’t worry about me, I am sure and strong in my conviction and on my path. The whole point of this article was to highlight a common problem with single parenting and ultimately to reach any solo Dad’s out there.
Just A Dad well i think you are doing a bonza job at it and think your wife will be looking down bloody proud of you all 👍
Love it! Exactly how i am feeling this month
Hump day was a hell of an asshole today. I put my girl to bed and I’m ready for an 8.30 bedtime. X tomorrows a new (hopefully better) day xxx
830pm – why so late? Lol
My girls are older now and my story so different to yours. You hold on there and don’t ever feel guilty about anything . You are the grown up and they are your children. Kids at that age are resilient as long as you keep a open chapter
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Ha! #everynight
The one I hate hearing is “if you love someone it’s not a chore”! This is from ppl with a ton of me time!
You are just being direct and saying what many ppl think but won’t say. I respect that about you :). We all have those days our patience is wearing thin.
Thanks Michelle – seems to be a point being missed by some.
BTW – “… not a chore”. Everything is a chore unless it is something you want to be doing right now. Thank you! X
Absolutely and you’re welcome xo. I understood exactly, I have those days where it feels like 1 step forward and 5 steps back. It is all work work work 🙁
Cheers
I know how u feel I’m a amputee with a rare auto immune disease and just got the $900 year 9 booklist ffs
$900?? Wtf?? For that price I’d want a weekly massage thrown in 😁
Over it all at the moment could have taken me to dinner before they fucked me though
Classic 🤣🤣🤣
Is this face familiar??
Ha! Such similar humour Janet x
Just A Dad I’ve noticed!
Strangely enough I listen to all of this.. and for a wide range of varying reasons and close similarities.. i know how you feeI
It’s a global conciousness my friend 😂
Bottoms up mate. My partner Chanel Larsen would agree with you 100% right now
#channelthegrape
Bloody oath if i wasnt dam.well pregnant id be downing a few bottles
cheers
I was feeling like this gif this week! Sole parenting can suck a big one this week!
Cider cheers to you!
It does get easier as they get older. Have a drink for me!
Sold!
Ooh cider – nice late spring choice!
#fuckenaye
Haha yep it can be a real biyatch! But exactly tomorrow is another day!
Love this people are so keen to share the #blessed moments but not many say it how it is! Sometimes you just can’t be fucked!
Dare I say more often than not?
Absolutely true. Keep up the wine it helps 😁
On my second bottle 🙁 good cheap cap/sav I’m hearing buddy 🙂 shit I’m going to feel shit in the morning !! F#ck school lunches first thing in morning Grrrr
Lol – might be a lunch order kinda day 😂
I completely get it….and yes it will pass, but with every day of single parenthood, it’s also as if the load on your shoulders just keeps accumulating and it gets heavier and heavier..
people also tend to think that because you’re the mum, doing everything is ‘what we do’ anyways (!?), whether you’re widowed or not. Erm, no, it’s not how it should be and no, it’s not the same…
Great point Trine – it’s ridiculously assumed that women find this easier for sure absurd reason.. 😡
I’m in the same boat. And yeah doing all the things day in and out is just what you gotta do and it’s fucked. But the biggest thing missing is that person you can offload too, who says ‘god today was an asshole’ and you go ‘damn straight it was, let’s drink and cuddle and forget about it’. Makes all the difference.
Hit the nail on the head Tenyse – that’s why I created this page. Let all the solo parents unleash!
Spot on! Love the honesty
Why bother being otherwise? 🙂
Exactly 🙂
Agree Cristy. Must be the week for it!
Totally hear you. And im just a single mum working her arse off to give my kids a better life.
No such thing as “just a single mum” Ella x
Thankyou. Its bloody hard work and thankful for those that help and support me or id be curled up in a corner rocking back and forth lol
Just don’t spill that glass with your rocking 🙂
Oh i never spill a drop lol
Must be the day for it. ♀️❤️
G’day ! I’m a Newbie too your page ! Hi I’m Anna , I spent the best part of yesterday umm what’s the terminology they use now
Stalking your Page
I was fuckin feeling so sorry for myself , and Boom you popped up !
I’ve two Grown Daughters !!!
Ones Married with a Beautiful Son ! My Second Born Grandson.. sadly my Youngest Daughter & Husband lost their first Born Son .. Premmie
My Eldest Daughter … in which we don’t speak is pregnant with her first child … I’m absolutely bursting with excitement about that though ☺️ hang on , just got to go for a pee & get another Rum & Roll up
Hope this makes you feel Better
How could anybody not feel happier with all those emojis!
…and I think Ill take your words as a compliment? Lol
Just A Dad love it
Just A Dad I like a person who can relate to Emjoys ! 🙌
Just A Dad absolutely 🙄 Why wouldn’t you ?
I’m back ! Now I remember what track I was on
Lol ! My condolences too you & your Kids !
You are doing the very best you can do & I’m sure your wife would be watching over you all , Going like
That’s why I married this Man !!! Much ❤️
Being ‘The Mum’ ‘The Dad’ is the most shittiest fuckin job out !!!
You’ll always fuck up , don’t you worry about that !!
You’ll despise being a parent at times !! It’s the fuckin hardest job in the world !!
It’s all on you ! And can I just say when they grow up a little, They’ll only remember that Mistake you made !!
It’s the Most Rewarding, yet kick in the Gutts Every Day for the rest of your life kinda Jobs … that you wouldn’t swap for Quids !
Go for a fourth glass and enjoy every drop!! ❤️ xxx
I’m out! Ah well, better go to bed then x
This isn’t advice just me writing to you….
I’ve been a single mum 2 kids all the stresses, all the financial worries ,the kids been complete assass at times, tantrums, times that they didn’t like me at all, times we cried together laughed together, times I lay in my big bed crying all night wondering how I’m going to be mum and dad how or wondering where my next meals coming from for my children, how was I supposed to raise a son, teach him the birds and the bees ,shaving, driving, at times I wanted to die at times I felt I couldn’t do it I didn’t want to work cook clean be mum… Take them to sports seeing mums and dads there killed me…
I was always on my own doing it tough…
Let me just say it all paid off they are amazing kids I got through the storm day by day..
Felt each emotion and still recall it so vividly…
If only we know them what we know now hey…
You are feeling all the emotions that are some what normal…
All I can say is try take time for you ask family members for help if you can hire a cleaner once a week… Have someone else take them to sports a few times a week… Your beautiful wife never signed up for this either but she chose you because she loved you and you are the one… You are her Rock.. The father to her children she chose you because she knew your strengths and weaknesses …sadly marriage we sign up for until death do us part ..it shouldn’t of been this way but she left with love in her heart and left love her in earth they are a piece of her you will never lose… You will have great days and days that you wish you could erase but your wife is with you daily she had left you in body but not in spirit your love is eternal… Reach out on bad days they will pass…
This too shall pass..
Your children are where love was made love never dies…
Put your feet up have a drink.. Look up to the stars you will feel her love and with that she will give you strength .❤
Thankyou Julz – lovely words 🙂
I hear you mate.
Oh god!!!!!!!!!!! You’re preaching to the choir girlfriend but by the sounds of things you’re still in the feather weight division, get back to me when you’re a finalist for a championship belt and we’ll swap war stories. I still live in hope that what I’m told are apparently the apples of my eye, fruits of my loins, loves of my life will eventually pick up on the distress signal from the mothership and will return home to share their insanity with the entire intergalactic race.
This comment wins hands down! Superb Katt! Keep them coming 😂😂😂😂
Cheers to that!!
Don’t worry mate, before you know they will be hitting teenage years.. less dependent and probably ignoring you. Then you’ll be wishing for these days again.
Teenagers suck!
Cheers too that
Ahhh I’m hearing ya!
I TOTALLY get it Chris Martin…. I thought I was one of the only people that openly talks about shit parenting can be….. and how much alcohol helps! It seems not.. you are right, more peoole need to be open and honest about it so more people can be open and honest about it…. I hope the sleep in’s are in abundance, the material shit entertains them for more than 5 mins, the alcohol flows freely and the hangovers get to be slept off. Another Christmas – another notch on the old Widowhood belt. Xxxx
Love it and you Em! X
Hang onto this motherfucking rollercoaster ride…. for it shall stop whenever the hell it wants my friend!!! xxx
True story for all of us.
Your day has been my week!!
Oh that sucks 🙁
Love
Your honesty.:.
Oh I hear you with this one, roller coaster