Home Everyday Life The horror of Christmas and the school holidays

The horror of Christmas and the school holidays

by admin

Look, I know I live pretty much day to day, going with the flow and trying to live a carefree life in the heart of hippyville these days, but fuck me; how did it get to 3 weeks to Christmas without me realising?

For some reason the tricky bastard has snuck up on me this year and to be honest I’m not really feeling the vibe.

I don’t know if it’s my distinct lack of preparation, or the whole logistical and financial nightmare that surrounds this time of year that has me sneaking down an extra glass of the good stuff to calm the building anxiety most nights at the moment.

No matter the reason, and I know this doesn’t just pertain to solo parents, but Christmas time and the seemingly endless break from school routine is basically just a whole fuckload more work and worry for us parents. And expensive.

First of all is the stress involved in deciphering and then purchasing gifts for family members. I mean how hard is it to buy something that reflects your deep understanding and consideration of the wants, needs and desires of old aunty Mavis’ 2nd husband and your 3rd cousin 7 times removed? Bloody hell. And the stupid thing is, it wouldn’t matter to anyone if you bought everyone a bar of soap and engraved their name on it with a fucking chopstick. But still, year after year, we all go through the same worry that we have bought an appropriate gift for every single person. Which we’ll never know of course, because everyone is far too polite to tell you their gift is a piece of shit that they’ll throw away before Easter.

Next up is the hellish experience of wandering around various shopping centres like a desperate junkie, as you flitter and fluff from shop to shop, in the often vain attempt to buy some extra (temporary) love on Christmas day from your offspring. And if you have children under about 9, you can’t even claim the accolades yourself as everything is attributed to that sanctimonious fat prick in the red suit.

When you have finally managed to spend nearly every cent you have on pointless pieces of plastic and soon-to-be-quickly-forgotten gifts from the heart, it’s time to plan your logistical assault on the travel required to appease all those near and dear over this celebrated “festive” season. Planes, trains, automobiles, spare beds, couches, lunches, dinners, drinks, suitcases packed to the brim for every possible scenario. The mind boggling details that must be ironed out pre-xmas are astonishing in their quantity and ridiculousness.

And that’s just the pre-organising.

Rolled into all these fun and games is of course the end of the school year. A beautiful time for all. Just as everyone is at their wits end, children on the verge of physical and mental breakdowns, parents doing everything they can to simply hold their shit together, the “system”, in its eternal wisdom, deems it necessary to have multiple, ill timed and hastily thrown together, compulsory events designed to draw the year to a close and highlight everything our precious bundles of joy have learnt throughout the year.

Like we care..

Let’s be completely honest here folks. As long as our kids don’t commit any crimes while under the care of their teacher, eat all their lunch on a regular basis, attend at least 80% of the required class days during the year and come home with some semblance of happiness each day, are we not, on the whole, pretty happy with the situation? Ok, so we need to check in on their reading and maths skills once in a while, but for fucks sake, we do not need a parade, play or open day to know whether or not little Jonny is a fuck up. We already know the answer to that without the intervention of the school system. Even if we choose to largely ignore it.

By the time you arrive at your first destination for the holiday period, is it no wonder that we are all grumpy, short tempered, nervous wrecks? Of course not – and don’t come at me with your bullshit about happy happy joy joy time of the year. We all know that’s the 8th glass of wine talking, as you read this and start stressing about your own progress towards the big day but are trying to cover it up with positive thinking.

OK, so I must sound a little jaded, but I bet you 10 bitcoin (just got into this and that’s a whole lotta spondoolies) that at least a fair portion of this article rings true to you even if you don’t admit it.

Don’t get me wrong. I love this time of year. To me it means no schedule, no hardline bedtime police, sleep ins, over indulging in everything that makes you feel unhealthy, catching up with old friends and sorely missed family, sun, relaxation (whenever you can snatch some) and of course the promise of a fresh start on the horizon when the clock ticks over midnight on NYE.

So although this comes across as all negative-Nancy, I am truly looking forward to Christmas and the holidays. What I absolutely detest is this emotionally challenging, mind fucking, stupidly busy and mostly pointless mad rush that is the lead up to said festivities.

All I can offer you is either my sincere condolences if you identify word for word with this article and my heartfelt “fuck you” if everything is smooth sailing for your end of year πŸ˜‚

Peace ✌️

Here's some other posts

93 comments

Nicole Talbot December 8, 2017 - 8:34 am

β€œLike we care” bahaha exactly!
#currrentlyfkdandstillcoupleofweekstogo

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 8:43 am

Soooo loooooong

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Rhonda Daly December 8, 2017 - 8:52 am

Just worry a about kids presents . Just give a xmas card to family . Once my ex and i had kids i got the parents on both side a little hamper and that was it.

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Drambuie Land December 8, 2017 - 8:51 am

Winge Winge
Get on with it

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

Would it be socially acceptable to say to you: fuck off and I hope you have a shit Christmas?

Either way, based on your comment, fuck off and I hope your Christmas period is devoid of enjoyment in any way imaginable x

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Drambuie Land December 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Again Winge
MAY Santa bless you
Sook

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 8:59 am

Oh man. You have no idea how much I have been drinking and waiting in earnest for my first tragic wanabe troll. Please good sir, your volley? (cocksucker)

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:11 am

I love that the only post on your profile references “courage” πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

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Joanne Peake December 8, 2017 - 10:24 am

One weird profile pic too.

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:27 am

Ha! Joanne Peake! I hadn’t even looked at that. Some seriously weird beastiality kinda shit. Not sure even Drambuie would get me there!

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Joanne Peake December 8, 2017 - 10:28 am

Creepy

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:28 am

Moe creepy πŸ˜…

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Joanne Peake December 8, 2017 - 10:29 am

You’ve been gone too long. It’s Morwell these days. Lol.

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:31 am

It was always an each way bet – good to see it was kept in the valley!

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Glenn Scotland December 8, 2017 - 8:54 am

I accept your fuck you. It was just what I wanted. How did you know?

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 8:56 am

Blood is thicker than water my old friend… Hang on, do you even have any blood left?

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Glenn Scotland December 8, 2017 - 8:58 am

Sucked some fresh last night

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:00 am

So many ways I could deal with this. I feel confused and overwhelmed at the opportunity

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Tenyse Dark December 8, 2017 - 8:55 am

I felt the same way. Then I realised I have half of Christmas Day to spend on my own and that’s going to make all the bs worth it lol. DVDs, food, no in laws or cooking for a million people. Pure silent bliss lol best present ever #singleparentperk

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:01 am

Wish I could handball for a year, sorry I mean day, or two.

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Tenyse Dark December 8, 2017 - 9:03 am

Just A Dad lol mmhmm. Do you have a P.O box? Maybe a secret Santa present will make Christmas a little more bearable? 😊

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:06 am

I do. I intend to not leave me out of the gift circle this year. Just have to remember to save some for the NY!!

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Greg Higgins December 8, 2017 - 8:59 am

Grrrrrr shit I wish I could express my life like you my friend πŸ™‚ school fees need to be finalised today there goes 5k & I still have NOT started Xmas shopping πŸ™ f#ck
Best have a glass of Cab/Sav & figure my next move lol

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:02 am

Mate. I just poured one in your honour. Literally did the same today. 2.8k for preschool I’d somehow managed to miss over the last few months.. Hoo-fucking-ray

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:39 am

…and im on the white tonight. (warm weather) lol

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Greg Higgins December 8, 2017 - 9:41 am

Chardonnay or Sav Blanc ?? πŸ˜‰

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:44 am

A refreshing sauv blanc from the Marlborough region this evening. Paired nicely with a light crusted pizza and a fresh dose of attitude from miss 9.

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Alicia Nelson December 8, 2017 - 9:00 am

Oh i no what you mean about buying presents for the husbands snobby uncle and his wife who we NEVER see ever except on christmas day

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:03 am

Buy them a voucher to the local sex shop. That’ll fuckem

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Alicia Nelson December 8, 2017 - 9:04 am

OMG Brilliant i would love to see daelenes face when she opens that

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:06 am

Please record video evidence!

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Alicia Nelson December 8, 2017 - 9:08 am

Ohh deffiently

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Ange Austin December 8, 2017 - 10:03 am

Haha defs need a video haha. Stuck up ol pricks. I just buy chocolate and they get a copy of santa photo good or fuckin bad thats it. Accept or piss off. Have no time for ungrateful wingers anymore. Its ot about them it about the kids.

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Alicia Nelson December 8, 2017 - 10:07 am

Oh i agree it pisses me off tgat i have to buy for 15 adults it should be only for the kids

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:29 am

Kris kringle is the way to go. Spend $50 on something someone actually wants and everyone is happy.

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Alicia Nelson December 8, 2017 - 11:23 am

Exactly but honstly who needs presents were adults

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 11:31 am

You’re so right. Just a car of wine and a sleep in every day enough πŸ™‚

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Alicia Nelson December 8, 2017 - 11:38 am

That sounds PERFECT

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 11:56 am

*case

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Greg Higgins December 8, 2017 - 9:02 am

Oh & shot forgot that it was Xmas in three weeks also πŸ™‚ lol thanks for the reminder πŸ˜‰

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:04 am

Sorry!

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Justin Dunne December 8, 2017 - 9:03 am

You’ll feel the vibe alright if there’s no haul under the tree come 25th.

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:07 am

I hear you mate. I’d be better off facing a firing squad.

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Tracey Jo-Anna Collins December 8, 2017 - 9:09 am

The second year is always harder then the first… one foot in front of the other… the ship that steers in the dark will find its becon… sail on. X

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:12 am

Thanks Tracey x

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Tracey Jo-Anna Collins December 8, 2017 - 9:14 am

Just A Dad a Xmas eve boxes !!get onto them … explore

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:40 am

Sounds saucy! Oh, actually, I’m not sure what xmas eve boxes are?

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KimDavid Bennett December 8, 2017 - 10:41 am

They are great! New pjs for Xmas night, pop corn treats to watch a Xmas movie before bed.

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 11:29 am

Ok so are we talking boxer shorts?

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KimDavid Bennett December 8, 2017 - 12:55 pm

Yes if that’s what your kiddies wear to bed .

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:09 am

Not sure if you all saw but Drambuie Land seemed to be attempting to troll me. For some reason they have gone quiet. Or maybe. That’s just the passion pop talking

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Melinda Small December 8, 2017 - 9:55 am

Oh I saw that dirty troll. I’m just waiting quietly in the wings to see if they get their keyboard warrior back on πŸ˜‚

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:58 am

I think the pressure of formulating coherent sentences got the better of them Melinda Small 🀣

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Joanne Peake December 8, 2017 - 10:27 am

Did you notice the creepy weird family photo. Insert shiver here.

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:33 am

Oh wow – not sure if they are all related or just really fond of each other…

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Alli Smoosh December 8, 2017 - 9:16 am

Well said and all too true.
Yep I thought the troll would stay a little longer..

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:25 am

Bit disappointed tbh. Up for it tonight!

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Alli Smoosh December 8, 2017 - 9:26 am

Ha ha ha. Yep funny how sometimes one insignificant little troll can really pep u up..

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:31 am

Jeez – if I can’t fight trolls all night I’ll be left with netflix..

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Alli Smoosh December 8, 2017 - 9:44 am

Oh no, not quite a fate worse then death. But close

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:45 am

Your humour = I like.

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Alli Smoosh December 8, 2017 - 9:47 am

Ha ha ha cool… Cheers

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Alicia Nelson December 8, 2017 - 9:18 am

Yes i had to hold back from abusing them

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Mello Cox December 8, 2017 - 9:22 am

Love love LOVE (and agree) with every part of this x

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:25 am

Awesome!

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Mello Cox December 8, 2017 - 9:29 am

Just A Dad (and your response to the troll was well played x)

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Peta Melanie December 8, 2017 - 9:24 am

So hear you on all that… craziness… I am not going to try too hard and my
Presence & my children is going to have to be enough… may find a few
Moments to make some
Dreamcatchers for the little people but can’t deal
With the rest
Of the present excess and overwhelm on any level… enough stuff and plastic crap covered in coloured paper wrap… just let’s eat drink and be merry we made it through another year and what a mad one it was.. there is always hope next years going to be lighter n brighter… never the less we will most likely Continue chasing our tails… FarK!!!

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:26 am

Happy to chase my tail if you are Peta! Let’s get a movement going x

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Karen L Austin December 8, 2017 - 9:35 am

Wholeheartedly agree with every word and not looking forward to xmas day it always seemsto be a disappointment for my 2

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:36 am

Such a farce. And to top it off I build up my expectations as to the enjoyment I will get from it.. Bah humbug.

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Karen L Austin December 8, 2017 - 9:37 am

Ditto

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:37 am

Wl we ever learn Karen L Austin?

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:35 am

If you feel so inclined, share shit like this. There are a lot of people out there who are suffering unknowingly alone just as we are at this time of year. Even if it doesn’t help, surely they can laugh at me x

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Greg Higgins December 8, 2017 - 9:39 am

Hey buddy if any of our comments puts grin on someone face ?? I say glad to be apart of it πŸ™‚

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 9:46 am

Too bloody right Greg. Love your work πŸ™‚

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Laura Southam December 8, 2017 - 9:58 am

Christmas hack- you only need to visit 4 places :
Kmart
Bunnings
Officeworks
Discount chemist warehouse.

Everything you need, you will find there

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:03 am

Bloody hell Laura – I think you have just crowned the latest incarnation of the holy grail. My only problem is that I would spend days on end and considerable amounts of unnecessary money on heaps of shit for myself that I didn’t need the first place, let alone presents!

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Laura Southam December 8, 2017 - 10:07 am

Just A Dad I totally feel you! Unnecessary purchases are literally the whole point of shopping at places like Kmart!
Best bet is to order online- a lot of places now accept after pay, which is a godsend!

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:19 am

I literally just messaged my MIL to expect numerous boxes to start arriving, ready for me to wrap xmas eve… Oh the joy…

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Lou Vos December 8, 2017 - 10:03 am

I’m only a fur parent not even a human one and can relate to this sooo much. Roll on 2018 so we can get busy breaking lame ass resolutions

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Lou Vos December 8, 2017 - 10:06 am

Symone Van Roosmalen for some reason l feel you would enjoy and potentially relate to this πŸ˜‰

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:21 am

Oh my, resolutions – can’t wait to read my own post on that shit!

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Kylie Bell December 8, 2017 - 10:16 am

Just A Dad, man you write well. My 4th Shitmas coming up as a solo parent this year, and Xmas Eve will be 3 and a half years since my husband passed. I can’t wait till the actual couple of days are over with.

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:25 am

Yeah I didn’t even touch on that shitty part of the equation. Maybe the headfuck of everything I spoke about is designed to overshadow the hollow emptiness that anything usually celebratory now becomes…#rightherewithyou #muchlove

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Viv Freeman December 8, 2017 - 10:41 am

This is true

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Viv Freeman December 8, 2017 - 10:39 am

We had very low key last year it was great, so doing that again just can’t do the superficial,consumeristic ,BS it’s just energy, zapping β˜„οΈpretty sure we all don’t need more stuff to add to landfill have a great holiday season

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:48 am

#word!

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Leanne Doddridge December 8, 2017 - 10:42 am

Shopping list

*crate of soap
*chopstick
*wine
*prawns

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:49 am

Bahaha! I like the addition of prawnsπŸ˜‚

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Leanne Doddridge December 8, 2017 - 10:50 am

Uum, it isn’t christmas without a prawn platter!

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Just A Dad December 8, 2017 - 10:51 am

#aussiethroughandthrough

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Mac Lin December 8, 2017 - 10:55 am

Just A Dad Spot onnnnn!! Lol

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Adrian Quig December 8, 2017 - 1:34 pm

❀️

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