I noticed some people commenting with “jeez your lucky”, or “tough life” on some of my more, um, picturesque posts. Which to be honest, I have to agree with. I am lucky.
I am super lucky to have been presented with a choice to live in this stunning part of the world. I am equally as lucky to have been in a position to drop everything and move here. I am also bloody lucky that I could afford to do so at the time.
But…
None of this would have happened if Renee was still here. She died and all this happened. Bittersweet is an understatement.
I have run my own business for 12 years now, my old business partner, and one of my closest friends, selflessly leaving it to me when Renee got sick. I work from wherever my laptop is and when time allows, however, I literally have not worked for the last three years, living off insurance money and the odd project. I have basically committed the last three years to learning how to be a Dad, a Mum, a homemaker, and a grief counsellor, all while I try to process my own grief and hopelessness. Not easy.
When I moved here, I left behind 23 years of living in Melbourne. Family, friends, business, memories, my comfort zone. Life. Everything. Not easy.
When I got here I had to start again. 42 years old at the time, solo parent to two children, no work, no friends, widower and pretty messed up. Not easy.
It’s now 4 years down the track and yes, I am starting to feel pretty lucky. I have made friends. I have started working again now that the crippling anxiety has waned little. I have started some fulfilling projects, like this blog, that I can cathartically leverage my experiences to help others. I have got a handle on this parenting gig, for now ;). I made choices after we were dealt a horrible hand, there was no luck. But I am feeling lucky to have made the right choices, it could have just as easily not worked out.
I am, we are, in a much better place, thanks to the choices I made for our family.
So before you quip remarks on someone’s content because you feel like they are luckier than you, maybe stop and think what that “luck” truly looks like. Would you give up everything you hold dear in your life right now so you could take a selfie on the beach in June? Would you be happy that a loved one died so you could live in paradise?
I thought not..
I count myself lucky to be where I am right now. But this luck was hard won. Harder than I would wish upon my worst enemy.
Just do me, and yourself, a favour; appreciate how green the grass is on your side of the fence. I guarantee it isn’t nearly as bad as you think.
✌️