It’s Easter Saturday. Day two of the 4 day break all Aussies get, in celebration of a historical Christian belief that this Jesus dude died for all mankind’s sins (as long as we made the decision to believe in him) and subsequently was resurrected so he could keep smashing out the religious dogma that has plagued our species ever since. Well that’s how the story goes according to literature. Not that most folks give two shits about the reasoning though, as long as they get their 4 days off and the kids get to stuff themselves full of chocolate then who are they to argue!
Not that I’m chastising this most sacred of annual celebrations. I too, for reasons genetically endowed upon me, love and look forward to this traditional “family” oriented time of year.
Unfortunately for us, however, Easter Saturday 2015 just so happened to be the 4th April. A day we were desperately trying to force to be a happy, positive, family fun day. A day we were adamant we would get to, so we could be together; happy and in good spirits, simply to revel in the bliss and pure joy of the children’s excitement and experience of hunting for chocolate eggs. Laughter. Squeals of delight. Family.
Such a simple wish. An easy hope. You would think..
But it was Easter Saturday, 2015, that Renee’s body could fight no more. Which to me, now, is the paradox of Easter. Death? Yes. New beginnings? Hmmm..not so.
“New beginnings” sounds like a fresh start, a symbol of hope, of better times ahead. Which I am led to understand this time of year symbolises. But am loathe to agree with.
OK sure, when you lose something so cherished, you have no option but to embark on a new path. But is it really a “new beginning”? I don’t think so. I believe that it is merely a continuation (for there is no stopping time) but with a tengential change in direction.
To me, a new beginning would be something defined by choice; where we find ourselves after loss is anything but.
So I choose to embrace Easter as exactly that; a time to reflect on what has changed. What life was, what it is and what it might be. We didn’t choose this change. We didn’t choose a different life. Shit, we don’t even believe in the traditional reasons we have this extended weekend holiday. But we certainly know what it means to us.
We were, are, and always will be, family. In this world or not.
Happy family time to you all ✌️
Beautifully written. The sadness never goes away, the memories are there every day. I used to fear death, but now I don’t! I believe in my heart the day I’ll pass will be the day I’ll meet my love once again.
Meanwhile I live every day as if it’s my last.