Home Everyday Life Shit time of year soz

Shit time of year soz

by admin

IΒ  just realised that I haven’t posted anything of substance for quite some time sorry guys.

This time of year is particularly tough from about September onwards. Grace’s birthday, my birthday, Renee’s birthday, our wedding anniversary, Xmas, new years.

So basically my life for the last 4 months of the year is a rollercoaster of emotions; frantic highs and empty, hollow lows. Sometimes together, sometimes one after the other, always inevitable.

After the desperate sadness and disbelief that immediately follows loss, this is grief in all it’s fucked up glory as the months and years tick by. Up and down, up and down..

As I’ve mentioned before, my lows consist largely of apathy with a side order of irritability. Occasionally I like to throw in some random anxiety to mix things up. Once in a while I even manage the quadrella and nail it shut with a dose of sadness to boot.

This is the main reason I haven’t penned anything meaningful lately. Not that I don’t lay awake at night mulling over topics and semi writing articles in my mind. Nor have I lost the passion to share my journey to try and help others. Nothing so deep and concerning I’m afraid.

Some days I wake up and feel like I just can’t be fucked doing life. I lay there on these particular mornings, staring at the ceiling in muted dread, and spend what usually equates to way too much time, working out how easily I can get the day to pass as quickly and hassle free as I possible. Then I get up and blame it on the kids for running late πŸ™

Not that this happens every day. Remember I said I also have frantic highs? They are awesome! Sort of like when that 4th drink hits your brain and before the 7th brings it all crashing down. Life is good. I am stupidly happy. I am the entertainer, the God of all things fun and humourous. I am love, light and the epitome of happiness.

But… (Lol)

With so many poignant dates crammed closely together at this time of year, these happy times get brushed under the rug pretty quickly by the impending doom and gloom of celebrating yet another special day without my baby here.

So I just want to take this opportunity to ask you all to bear with me as I try to smash the end of this year out of the park. I promise I will keep posting my mixed up journey as it happens or is remembered. I actually have 3 semi finished articles waiting for me to have a run of good days to knock them off but, you know, we’ll see how it pans out.

As usual, peace, love and mungbeans y’all ✌️

Here's some other posts

31 comments

Anita Coldrey October 26, 2017 - 9:29 am

Sending you lots of love and support! Call me if you ever want to talk, vent, cry or just waffle!!

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Just A Dad October 26, 2017 - 9:55 am

Thanks babe. You know me, I’m better at waffling in script than in person xx

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Anita Coldrey October 26, 2017 - 9:56 am

Just A Dad you and me both. πŸ˜˜πŸ’‹

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Shelleigh Hine October 26, 2017 - 9:39 am

Sharing really is caring.. you pen your words so beautifully!! You are not alone my friend xx

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Just A Dad October 26, 2017 - 9:56 am

Thanks Shelleigh πŸ™‚

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Sue Blanch Duggan October 26, 2017 - 10:00 am

Just keep swimming Dad, you are doing a great job xx

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Just A Dad October 26, 2017 - 11:03 am

Thanks Dori πŸ˜‰

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KrisandShan Silver October 26, 2017 - 10:01 am

❀❀❀❀

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Richie Wilden October 26, 2017 - 10:02 am

Hey mate your probably my biggest inspiration right now with all you have been through and achieved I’ve learnt that you need to sometimes let ur emotions out to stay strong mate your helping the dads and sometimes the dads can help u back I still wanna have a chat when it’s good for ya even just to say hi you guys are like family to us and will always be, take It easy mate no need to apologise ur doing great with this just a dad and great being a dad will chat soon when things slow down a bit ur not alone if u need to chat I’m always here also

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Rhonda Daly October 26, 2017 - 10:25 am

Please see a professional . You may need some extra help. Your wife would want you to get help for you and your kids. I have no idea what you are going through as this is your story, however yes you may need a bevy hear and there but dont lose your mind as your kids need you ❀️

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Douglas Honeywill October 26, 2017 - 10:54 am

Your honesty warms my heart, and breaks it all at the same time. I feel like I know you though we have never met. It is a humbling experience to be on this journey with you. Like everyone on here, I have your back

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Just A Dad October 27, 2017 - 10:08 am

Humbling words thanks mate πŸ™‚

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Carly Bradshaw October 26, 2017 - 11:17 am

Day by day, best wishes for the months ahead

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Jo Wilson October 26, 2017 - 11:21 am

Nice to hear from you… it means you are hanging in… you are forefront in my mind as I take my own special journey over the next week or so.. feeling it at the moment, knowing we will make it and be stronger for it! Stronger for ourselves, our kids and each other! ❀️❀️

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Michael Verwey October 26, 2017 - 12:13 pm

We’re along with ya for the ride bud. My tough time is going to be Feb – May I think.

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Janice Humphreys October 26, 2017 - 4:41 pm

Michael, we are here with you all the way every day is a freakin tough time, just minute by minute, hour by hour , day by day.
Smile n wave
πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’• Luvya

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Just A Dad October 27, 2017 - 10:09 am

Feel free to look me up anytime you need mate.. We’re all one messy family πŸ™‚

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Daniel Van Der Vlugt October 26, 2017 - 3:20 pm

I just want you to know, while I’m in a different set of circumstances. I take comfort in reading your realisations and struggles. It makes all those insane, unreasonable questions I ask myself, just seem a little more surmountable. Peace brother, stay strong

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Just A Dad October 26, 2017 - 9:06 pm

Precisely why I write what I do mate – cheers to you.

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Mel Richardson October 26, 2017 - 7:11 pm

Just keep on keeping on. Do what you have to do to get by…. x

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Brent Hartman October 26, 2017 - 11:53 pm

I feel this so much also for many reasons. All the best to you mate.. understood

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Just A Dad October 27, 2017 - 2:41 am

Cheers Brent

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Jessica Stafford October 27, 2017 - 4:27 am

Love you. I’m always close by whenever you need some laughs or cries or gallons of red xxx

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Just A Dad October 27, 2017 - 10:10 am

Berri? Lol

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Jillian Ruth Martin October 27, 2017 - 6:48 am

Hang in there-lots of love from us both- xx

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Just A Dad October 27, 2017 - 10:10 am

Thanks mum x

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Ted Lyn Martin October 27, 2017 - 11:09 am

Chris..I’m 70plus I wouldn’t expect you or your circumstances to be alot different that all parents feel..keep your energy up..I promise you will reap more than you sow..love and encouragement costs nothing but time and energy…so proud of you..xxxlyn

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Just A Dad October 27, 2017 - 11:11 am

Thanks Lyn x

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BiancaBelles Meyer October 27, 2017 - 12:18 pm

Oh Chris. I Wish I had something inspirational to say, but words are no good here. You’re an amazing bloke and dad and are doing a freaking phenomenal job. You inspire us all to get our shit together – for our burdens at times just don’t even compare to what you have on your plate. Take care of you mate x

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Kerri O'Keefe October 27, 2017 - 5:37 pm

Your words inspire us all…. The next 4 mnths are my shitty months as well! Losing my Mum and Dad 5 months apart last year… I won’t get my Birthday call next mnth… Mums bday in Dec… Christmas, no family to spend it with… Dads bday feb……. Let’s all be there for eachother.. !!!! Makes all a lives a little easier to deal with x

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Just A Dad October 27, 2017 - 8:59 pm

Agreed! Wow Kerri, you’ve had a rough trot πŸ™ keep in touch over the next few months x

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