I get it. Change sucks the big fat one. Nobody really enjoys stepping out of the comfortable little cocoon we build ourselves. Sure, if everything goes right, the end result can be euphoric and more than justifies the upheaval to get there. But, naturally, the fear of it not going so well is a huge hindrance to even trying. We are creatures of habit, we thrive in familiarity, we find solice in the known.
Change is fucking hard.
Now imagine losing an integral part of your lovingly prepared cocoon. Imagine how much you cling to that which remains, desperately trying to remodel the broken pieces into a semblance of what was. How even the most minute change to anything else with your cocoon appears catastrophic and irreparable.
Yeah not much fun I can assure you.
However, and this is based purely on personal experience, if no change is made, nothing will change.
What’s that age old adage? “if you keep doing the same thing, how can you expect to get a different answer?” Something like that anyway. You get my drift honky.
So as I sit here in my hammock, a long hot day slowly giving way to a balmy evening, a cooling breeze sweeps through the valley as the sun descends behind the hills once again. Perfect weather to reflect on our journey since Renee has passed, as another year draws to a close.
Our cocoon was ripped apart just under 4 years ago. I didn’t think it was possible to even have a cocoon again, let alone one that would include smiles and happiness.
Yet here I am, sitting in the breeze (white wine in hand on these hot days), smiling about the life we are building here, grateful for the opportunity to have another attempt at creating a cocoon for our little family.
And all because we took a chance on change. We chose to move away from what was and towards what could be. We took a leap of faith that a fresh start was better than trying to patch up the broken pieces. And I’m happy to say, so far so good.
Now this doesn’t mean we have “moved on” or forgotten. No, this just means we have packed up all the good stuff that was, and are using that to build something new. Which is kinda cool if you think about it. How many times in your life do you get the opportunity to say: “Fuck it. Time to hit the reset button; I’ll just take all that good shit thankyou very much and start again. Ciao!” Not often (if at all) I can assure you.
So I guess the point of this ramble is part reflection and part hope. Hope for us and hope for everyone. If we can do this, anyone can.
Don’t let your past define your future. If bad shit has happened, piss it off, grab the good stuff and start again.
Go create that new cocoon so you can burst out of that fucker like a giant unicorn butterfly that shits rainbows and plays the harp, and make the happiest damn life you can.