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The glorious mid-life crisis age

by admin

Reaching mid life crisis age

So as much as I hate to admit it, I am now at the age where the stereotypical “mid-life crisis” becomes a threat. That’s right, I’m closer to becoming an “oldie” than I am to being able to stay in touch with the “cool kids”. Not that I see myself that way. I actually think I’ll always be mentally stuck in my early 30s. Well maybe not, but when you realise you have just bought your 6th pair of exactly the same army green cargo shorts in as many years, it becomes quite apparent you have “found your groove”. 😂

Which is actually quite liberating to be honest. No need to worry about whether you are looking ok. No need to stress about what to wear each day. I have basically reached that point in life where I can emphatically say “fuck you” to any age based detractors.

There is, however, the darker side to this moon (another age based reference).

“Is this it?”

Yes my furry friends, the mid life crisis that we have all heard so much about as we grow up is nothing more than an internal dialogue, questioning everything we dreamed we would become or acheive in our finite time on this planet. And for the vast majority of us, this is a confronting and displeasing moment in our lives.

All of a sudden there are no more “when I grow up” possibilities. There is a realisation that this is quite possibly the pinnacle of your life. And for many of us mere mortals, it is not so much a pinnacle as it is a crumbling cliff face with a sheer drop to one side and an impassable precipice to the other.

And the biggest mistake alot of people make is assuming that it is someone else’s fault that they are not bathing in yaks milk while being fed grapes and fanned with palm branches.

Gone are the days, however, of the stereotypical man ditching their entire lives for a red Ferrari and a 23 yr old gold digger. No no, today’s modern man (and woman) instead tries to flip the bird to mid life by becoming obsessed with fitness, or going on a whacked out health kick that consists of kale and purified air smoothies.

I would love to see some stats on the growth in 45+ triathlon competitors in recent years, or the percentage of lycra-clad cyclists that are over the age of 40 that haunt our roads on a Saturday morning enroute to their favourite latte spot that provides bike racks.

But hey, each to their own I guess, and I suppose that lycra stretched over a beer gut is slightly more palatable than a smoothed out toupee in a nightclub.

But these things are simple attempts at personal self improvement, trying to return to the glory days of health and vigour. Which is commendable in nearly every way, bar one in my opinion.

So many people, both men and women, seem to find it so easy to give up on their relationships, and quite often their family too, as if these elements of life are holding them back from the utopian existence they feel they deserve.

I have witnessed numerous friends break away from previously adored partners, for no apparent reason other than they “aren’t happy”.

Now I can understand and appreciate this, and I’m not advocating for anyone to stay in a situation that is making them miserable, but what I find ridiculously hard to swallow is when zero effort is made to remedy the situation before people throw their hands in the air and decide “fuck it, I’m done”.

That’s just fucking lazy. And a total slap in the face to those that haven’t had the chance to experience a loving relationship and family.

The opportunity for a happy life and loving partnership is not something that grows on trees I’m afraid, and take it from someone that did have a superb relationship;

It takes work. It takes compromise. It takes commitment.

I have watched loving couples turn vicious and vengeful. I have seen kids used as pawns in ugly battles over finances and ownership. I have listened to disturbing schemes to undermine and entrap. And it makes me absolutely ropeable to know that in each case, there was not even the slightest attempt to fix any problems first.

I would do anything to have back what I’ve lost. Anything.. And believe me, when you have lost something so right, it makes you both angry and deeply saddened to watch others throw away the possibility of happiness so easily without even trying.

So for all of you who may be questioning your position in life at this point in time, I strongly urge you to try and fix things before you throw them away in search of something better. If it was once good, it can be again. And don’t be so conceited to think that you too can’t lose everything. Don’t be complacent in your life. Don’t take anything for granted.

By all means go ahead and cycle your fat lycra clad arse down to the closest hipster cafe for a sugar free almond milk golden chai, but don’t make the mistake assuming that your unhappiness is someone else’s fault.

And for fuck’s sake, do not use your children for gain, push them away or play them off against someone. They need you to be their parent.

We all grow older. We all have dreams of greener grass. Life isn’t always going to be unicorns and bloody rainbows, but before you throw your hands up in defeat, have another crack.

Rather than searching for a better deal in life, try imagining what life would be like without everything you have right now. Do you really want to lose all of that?

Happy mid-life.

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45 comments

Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 10:49 am

Well said

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 10:53 am

Yes very well said, how’d you get so smart hahaa

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 10:54 am

A-fucking-men!
You have to change something inside yourself if you have lost your mojo. A mental and emotional midlife crisis is a much better option than an outward superficial one.

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 10:54 am

I just have no words love you xxxxx

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Just A Dad March 12, 2018 - 10:56 am

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 11:57 am

Jess Stafford 😘😘

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 10:55 am

Nice one mate

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 10:58 am

Agree agree agree …. and just be happy in your own skin and do whatever makes you happy … simples!!!! #nomidlifehere #exceotforhasttagging

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Just A Dad March 12, 2018 - 11:08 am

#loveagoodhashtag

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 11:19 am

#41goingon29

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 11:04 am

Oh shit..,just shit …. I think I’m Paragraph 8 my Mid life Crisis most certainly does consist of health , fitness and Lycra yes…that’s true….. but you can shove ya Kale and smoothies …. it’s beer for me at the end of a long hard shit day

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Just A Dad March 12, 2018 - 11:08 am

It’s all about balance Jodi 😉

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 11:05 am

When one is willing to try everything and the other in mid life crisis isn’t then discards you for Tinder Dates then 32yrs of love and committment does come to an end with deep sadness. Some people get caught up in the power and hype of money, women, alcohol and glitz and forget the partner who was the backbone of the relationship sad but true, broke this womans heart….

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Just A Dad March 12, 2018 - 11:07 am

Exactly what I see happening far too often… Im so sorry to hear this Andrea 🙁

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 11:17 am

Yes you have to lose something to truely understand it’s value❤️

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Just A Dad March 12, 2018 - 11:19 am

Hmmm. Sometimes. Sometimes not 🙂

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 11:42 am

”Sometimes” you have to lose something to truely understand it’s value 👌

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 11:22 am

Yes I agree very well said…. couldn’t agree more!

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 11:22 am

Your words just melt me.. if only there was just that one. .. and terribly sorry to say … I do still believe in magic..

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 11:49 am

You sir , are a friggin champion , well said , bravo so I shouldn’t be worried that I’ve found my old board and wetty

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Just A Dad March 12, 2018 - 12:34 pm

Never mate! Get into it!

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 11:54 am

Oh wow.
Speechless.
Well said and written.

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 12:09 pm

Very well said. Growing old is unavoidable, growing up is optional for some lol

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 12:22 pm

So true, just a dad !
It’s easier to get a divorce than talk about it

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 12:34 pm

So well articulated! This is bloody 100% accurate Unfortunately for most, all this is realised too late

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 12:35 pm

So well said. 18 years and over with a affair and lies with business.

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 1:13 pm

Somewhat fitting that this was on my timeline today

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 6:54 pm

This is so perfectly right! Myself and hubby recently celebrated 7yrs of marriage, considering after 10 days of marriage I wasn’t sure we’d make 3wks (no exaggeration there) we r doing pretty good! There has been hard times…. really fucking hard times. Only made us stronger and love each other more!!
With 2 young daughters, grossing them out w a kiss is way more fun than them seeing us argue or not together at all

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 6:55 pm

Oh and we r wayyy below mid life crisis at 31 & 33

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 7:17 pm

Very well said – hope the right people are reading it!

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 8:11 pm

❤️ Shaun Keenan

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 8:27 pm

Why are you not a published author yet?

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Just A Dad March 12, 2018 - 8:37 pm

Haha.

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 8:48 pm

So well written. Good for everyone to read of all ages!

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 9:16 pm

Love it were you a writer or poet in a previous life.

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Just A Dad March 12, 2018 - 9:25 pm

I’ll have to consult the ouija board 😉

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Anonymous March 12, 2018 - 9:27 pm

”I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:
I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.

Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.

Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.”

~ Brené Brown

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Just A Dad March 12, 2018 - 9:29 pm

This is awesome!

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Anonymous March 13, 2018 - 1:28 am

I’m wearing lycra and just finished a smoothie. Rahhhahahah

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Just A Dad March 13, 2018 - 7:21 am

You can pull it off though 😉

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Anonymous March 13, 2018 - 10:58 am

Work, Compromise and Commitment So true Long term relationships arent easy but well worth the effort Add a bit of love and laughter (very important to laugh at ones self and each other) and you’re on the right track!

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Anonymous March 13, 2018 - 10:59 am

Plus we both wear Lycra (only to boot camp) and drink smoothies

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Just A Dad March 16, 2018 - 8:48 am

Hang on. Are you telling me that the big fella drinks smoothies?? I’m assuming they have beer in them…

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Anonymous March 16, 2018 - 11:19 am

Exactly julie, Chris is bloody amazing

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Amreeta July 27, 2018 - 11:59 pm

Right in the midst of it.

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