Home Uncategorized A new leaf or reality check?

A new leaf or reality check?

by admin

So it’s been a bloody long time since I’ve written anything more than a few lines of half arsed attempts at humour, a tangential rant or just sharing bloody hilarious memes. Which I guess isn’t such a bad thing ?

As you are all aware, I’ve made some pretty wholesale changes in my life of recent. I know I’ve mentioned it during a live or two, but thought I’d put pen to paper, or fat fingers to onscreen keyboard as it were, and expand on the whole shebang.

It’s not that I feel I need to explain myself, God forbid ?, but I think what I’ve done, my reasons for doing so and what has resulted, is worthy of immortalising in the written word (for future me to reference when the inevitable shit decides to once again hit the fan), but it’s also my hope that someone else may even find it helpful when their own fan is covered in the proverbial and there seems little they can do to clean it up.

A bit of context before I dive into the what’s why’s and whatevers;

About a month ago I had 4 concurrent days of shit go down, nothing worth detailing here, as things that are shit to me more than likely pale in comparison to the shit storms others deal with every day. Shit. (just thought I needed to say shit one more time ?)

What’s important for the purpose of this article is that I was left feeling suddenly old, worried for the future – financially, emotionally and physically, and frankly; really alone. More alone than I have ever felt since the day I lost Renee.

I’d also been turning to the trusty old portello a little too frequently and in increasing volume, as an escape, rather than for enjoyment, which as we all know never ends well. You may have noticed captain half-tanked-grumpy-pants make an appearance or two? ? ? Anyhoo – needless to say, I wasn’t in a good place.

Simply put, and hindsight is a beautiful thing, I was scared. For me. For our kids. Of what may be if I continued to honour my current trajectory. And without the clarity of understanding my own emotions, it manifested as anger, frustration and apathy. Sound familiar? ?

So sitting on the toilet that Sunday morning, head throbbing, already cranky at the world and wishing for the day to be over, I had a revelation. And no, it wasn’t last night’s portello exiting my body like an exorcised demon. It was a literal light bulb moment:

If I don’t change, nothing will change.

I know, I know.. Not exactly rocket science and you’ve heard it all before. It’s an age-old adage I can hear every teacher, parent and employer echo in unison to a defiant know-it-all younger me, pity it took 45 years for it to sink in. ?

But adages are adages for a reason. They’re generally true.

Now before you lose interest and turn back to netflix, let me get down to the details and what this all led to.

I (after I finished on the toilet obviously) broke down my current situation into the things that were either out of my control or long term hurdles, and things that I could action immediately to improve the negative space I found myself in.

Now life as a solo parent that runs their own business while studying a new business concurrently is relatively busy to say they least. So my first course of action was to fuck off anything that was distracting me from being a good Dad, an effective business owner and studious student. Catchya later social media and your current negative vortex – and for that matter, piss off news sites and anything to do with mainstream media.

With my distractions semi sorted (I do work in the online space), I turned my attention to how I could make my personal life better, even if everything around me was turning to shit (looking at you covid, you little turd). Of course winning tattslotto was my first choice, but after some research into that probability, I decided 38mil to one was a little slim to pin my hopes on.

I wanted to start a process that would provide me immediate, short term and long term gratification, happiness and positive forward motion, thus hopefully changing life for good.

Naturally booze was at the top of my hit list. I’ve always loved, and always will love a tipple (or 10 ?). But I decided right there and then, that I would now only ever have a drink in celebration, not to escape.

Like most people, I’ve lost count of the times I’ve heard myself blab on about getting fitter and healthier, and likewise, particularly as a solo parent, I am prone to whining about the lack of “me time” in this hectic life we make for ourselves.

So starting that day, I promised myself I’d exercise daily, be it a long walk with the puppy, a surf, or swimming laps and that I would eat “consciously” and healthier; meaning I would simply think about the foods I crammed into my mouth rather than just satisfying a need. I also made myself, totally unnaturally, “schedule” an hour or two during the week to do something solely for my pleasure or peace of mind. Think fishing by the river, watching something on the TV above PG rating, lying in the sun reading a book.

And that’s it. Nothing more complex than that, just simple, easy to action and accomplish ideas.

And this is the theory behind the decisions I made:

  1. With less mindless distraction I would have more time to focus on work, study and family.
  2. My liver and mind would literally jump for joy at the break from booze.
  3. If nothing else went right in the day, at least I could do something positive for just for me. (exercise)
  4. I would feel a sense of achievement, increased self esteem and confidence by doing things I’d promised myself for years. (eating well + exercise)
  5. Every week I’d have something to look forward to regardless of other things I had on, or didn’t. (me time)

And guess what. It bloody worked.

Here I am 5 weeks later:
I’ve dropped 3kg.
My back isn’t sore anymore.
I’m more tolerant (to a degree ?).
Im spending more time with the kids (jesus, we are even playing board games after dinner! ?).
I feel in control.
Im getting shit done.
The dog is stoked.?
I’m heaps happier.
Life is looking up!

Now this isn’t to rub it in or pat myself on the back. I’m not bragging. I just wanted to share my journey over the last few weeks from shitsville back to semi-normality.

I wanted to share my recipe for cleaning the shit off the fan and getting back into life. It’s possible. It’s doable. It’s not as hard as you may think. Just take baby steps. Set small goals that are easy to reach and you’ll be inspired to keep going. (Don’t go planning that Mt Everest climb, or declaring publicly that you’ll never drink again, straight off the bat ?).

The world may be going to hell in a handbasket right now, but that doesn’t mean we need to let our own little lives join the downward descent. Now is the perfect time to do what you can to make your own life better. Stop concentrating on all that is negative and out of your control, and start looking at what you can do – just for you.

Imagine if we all focused on doing what we can, as individuals, to make our own lives better..surely it wouldn’t be a bad thing? ?


Here's some other posts

Your thoughts?

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

Discover more from Just A Dad

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading